bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
