Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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