What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
