i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
id be glad to
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
