if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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