the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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