i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
