I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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