I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
