I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
