You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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