I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
