The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
