Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
someone owes me an orgasm
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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