Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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