escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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