Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
