he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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