I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
