At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
