Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
