Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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