you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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