And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
