Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
