i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
