Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
