come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
