I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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