He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
