i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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