His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
