dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
