No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
