We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
