You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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