she was so not down for the gang bang
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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