My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
