Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize