i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
