singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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