So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
