it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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