FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wish i was in the wii world.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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