weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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