How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
