SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
