I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
