it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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