i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
