roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
