never play flip cup with pint glasses
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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