Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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