i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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