What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize