her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I want to be your penis for a week.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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