Sry I called you an 8
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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