Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
