I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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