you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
