This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize