spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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