Umm I'm too high to move.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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