Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I didn't shave. On purpose
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
