She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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