He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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