Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
