Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize