So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
