I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We need to rekindle our bromance
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
there is glitter all over my balls
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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