Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
