What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
