That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
