If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize