The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
