apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize